Everything is Fine
by Thatdammarauder
Summary: a collection of Solangelo or Nico-centric oneshots of various and calamitous lengths / 3. Wank: In which Percy and Nico inadvertently talk about getting off, and the "who to do it with" question is subtly mentioned. "Sadness and crippling depression grin out at him from the shadows of the fire. Gods, Nico has had enough of this 90-year-old-man angst."
1. Arise, Fair Sun

1\. Arise, Fair Sun

In which a drunken Will feels his inner poet (and Nico's dick)

* * *

"Will, stop abusing your voice box."

"I did not live until todayyyyyyyyy—"

"Gods, for just one second, could you just calm down and think about the grievous impacts those sounds have upon the humanity?"

"How can I live when we are parted?"

"Ah, stop—hahha, stop singing, damn it."

"Tomorrow you'll be worlds away, and yet with you, my world has started."

"William, do not continue to tickle me, you bastard—do not…"

…

"Oh, Hades. Thank gods you stopped."

"'Shall I compare thee to a midsummer's day?'"

"Will, why? Can I have a 'no' and a 'go away' in Shakespearean?"

"'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.' And thou art but a flower, with 'love's light wings.'"

"Could we have some normal foreplay for once, Solace?"

"Tribulation from thy lips of doom? From whence blossoms and bosoms bloom?"

"'From my lips the sin that they took.'"

"'Take all myself!'"

"Shh! It's too early to throw yourself onto the bed."

"It is the east, and Nico is my sun, ah, and um."

"Ha, you forgot, didn't you? To be or not to be, that is—ah, good, normal foreplay. That is… oh fuck, nice."

"Yeah? You'll see nice."

"Oh, Will, only you would be drunk and still be this hardworking."

…

"Was that a yes?"

"Son of a minotaur, shit, fuck fuckingmerdaohgods—do you want me to curse so loud?"

"Yeah? I might be still drunk. Sing, my angel, sing for me!"

"You will not go—fuckingshit—phantom on my ass… ah, ah Hades. We'll wake the neighbors!"

"... Will? Are you laughing down my dick?"

"Why? Is it working?"

"That's it. Your alcohol privileges are revoked. I'll tell your siblings. Kayla'll go apeshit on you."

"Whhhaa? No, turneth thy back, fair lady! Uh, I don't know, uh. 'That's my alcohol!'"

"And is this your bottle?"

"...Fuck, that was awful… please keep going though. Oh, Hades below—do more of that. Yesyesyes, Nico!"

…

"Arise, fair sun!"

"What?"

"'Arise fair sun, and kill the envious mon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she: be not her maid, since she is envious,' and then something about shedding your green virginity!"

"That's what you forgot? You compared me to a maiden shedding her virginity? Which is green?"

"I, uh. Forgot the rest of it. Yeah. But I can do 'O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou—'"

"Solace, spare my ears."

…

"Wait, do you think I'd remember more if you did that thing with your tongue again?"

"Is that a challenge?"

"Only if you want it to be…"

"Hah, when did you get so smooth?"

"Since my father."

"Will, we will not be talking of the actual sun during sex."

"Was that pun intentional?"

"Idiot, stop abusing your vocal chords and let me blow you."


	2. Fire, Fire, Baby

2\. Fire, Fire, Baby

In which a campfire is nice, but the world which doesn't end is nicer.

* * *

It's been a couple of days since the world nearly ended, again. Nico's had his fair share of those. In fact, they're starting to get positively mundane compared to hell and other stuff.

Technically, the world is still ending as the Argo sails smoothly through the air, all its inhabitants stressed but safe. Nico corrects himself on that, but feels strangely unconcerned. The eight of them were nothing but incapable, they could probably do something about the Doors of Death. He is probably disassociating: he'll be feeling the brunt of his emotional instability in his dreams later tonight.

Or maybe he's just disassociating in the face of possible death because it's not even that scary. To be honest, fear and pain has done and probably will do a lot worse to him than death ever will.

The temporary fire in front of him flickers, and the warmth lights something inside him that makes Nico feel okay with things. Everything is fine because they are fine, at this very moment.

("The gay doesn't have to stay away!" His inner gay crows triumphantly. It sounds sugarhigh. Nico hates it, but feels himself loosen a bit anyway.)

Around the fire which looks mostly unstable but relatively strong ("Like me!" The Leo Valdez in his mind gleefully flips his oil-greased hair in time to the finger he receives) reside the rest of the seven. Chaos is being sewn, and marshmallows stolen.

Piper and Annabeth are in the middle of a fight over who can stuff the most marshmallows in their mouths, and around them Jason and Leo sit, sometimes chanting, "fight, fight, fight!" when things get particularly intense. Percy is telling a story about "this time, Frank shapeshifted into a fish, and then he couldn't breathe, so he turned into a toad-I'm not kidding, a green toad, this big, the kind at zoos-and he fucking jumps out of there before they could see him…" Frank and Hazel sit around him, red-cheeked and stuffing occasional marshmallows into each other's mouths.

There's something calming about daily catastrophes, Nico thinks, feeling philosophical as the embers fly up the wooden walls and disappear.

With that, he goes and plops himself in front of Jason and Leo, silently promising murder if they mention anything about the state of his psych.

"Hey, Gloom and Doom!" Leo's right hand fiddles with some paper clips while he smiles up at Nico, "not so gloomy today, huh? Enjoy the fire?"

"Don't burn everything down, Valdez." He says in answer, and is surprised when Leo laughs, putting on a show of fake modesty.

"Me? Just an average repair boy. Nothing average about burning things down, that's probably not me."

Before he could answer, Grace chimes in, "Right, nothing about your firefly powers could possibly start an accidental fire." And then, wonders of all wonders, he smiles at Nico, as if they're sharing a joke of fond exasperation over Leo Valdez, amateur fire starter.

Nico guesses that they are. So he expels his grimace and tries for something not so "doom and gloomy."

It isn't a smile, but it's a lot closer than he has managed the last couple of days. He offers it limply to the two of them, whose eyes widen. But they still stay and sit, flames dancing in twisting shadows, and Grace, for some horrible reason, gives Nico a nod.

And perhaps the nights will bring monsters and nightmares, perhaps they will bring ghosts, families, and confrontations of the self, but Nico really can't bring himself to care.

The fire is warm around them. Jason and Leo are laughing. Nothing is burning. Everything is fine.

(Another half hour later, holding all their valuables, the same could not be said for Nico's burnt hair or Percy's smoldering…diary? But that's something for the Argo Half an Hour Later to deal with.)


	3. Wank

3\. Wank

In which Percy and Nico inadvertently talk about getting off, and the "who to do it with" question is subtly mentioned.

* * *

"When do you get off?" Percy asks, eyes straying to the other side of the campfire. Camp Half Blood is in a celebratory mood again, and Percy might be asking Nico for his sex life in relation to his right (and sometimes left) hand.

Nico thinks Percy might be thinking of some other things, too, which is a bad idea in the first place. Everything about Percy Jackson is a bad idea to begin with. Maybe he's thinking of Hestia, who resides in every hearth, every home. But maybe he's just staring at the campfire for the sake of staring at the campfire. Anything's possible.

Perhaps with his brain-to-mouth filter busied by other thoughts, (Nico's multitasking skills have seen better years) disaster strikes.

"Whenever my right hand is free," Nico's mouth runs away from him, classically acquiring a previously undiscovered stamina.

After some moments of incredibly awkward silence, Nico thinks about what he's done and realizes something. Get off. Ah, right. That was a question involving free time from the 12th legion, who'd honorarily recruited Nico, not a what-do-you-do-in-the-Hades-cabin-at-night-stalling-off-dreams-of-your-dead-family-and-unrequited-feelings-of-attraction-not-directed-towards-the-fairer-sex kind of invitation.

"Um," he says, but it's too late. Everything is too late. Sadness and crippling depression grin out at him from the shadows of the fire. Gods, Nico has had enough of this 90-year-old-man angst.

"Uh," Percy says too. Nico doesn't look, and tries not to see.

His jawline. His fucking jawline, and the fucking fire and the fucking brightness and the fucking illumination and Nico's fucking gayness even though he's over this, has been over the actual person of Percy for a pretty long time.

Except Percy is built like a Greek god and he has been pretty for a long time, too.

"Uh," Percy starts up again like a broken record inside an old car, "uh, I mean."

Nico scoots a bit away from everything. The shadows will swallow him, and then his father will be mad at him, and Persephone will try to converse with him, but then he at least would not have to face Percy Jackson.

"I mean, um, me too?"

Seething now, "What do you mean, 'me too?'"

He knows what Percy meant by "me too." Nico is dying. He doesn't know what he's trying to accomplish anymore, except for a more immediate death.

 _Hey_ dad, _now would be good. Great, in fact._

And while he's dying, the redness in his cheeks would go away, too! As would all his problems! Because death solves all existential crises!

"I mean, like, I do it too? And um often? Except you wouldn't want people to hear, right? So—"

"Stop, Jackson. Don't embarrass yourself any further."

"Yeah, thank gods."

They sit in silence for an even longer time, again.

Nico feels a weird laughter bubble from his chest, as he thinks everything over. With the scope of the universe and everything that has happened within the last year, he feels strangely less scared to talk with his long-time crush about jerking off. There is something illuminating about your idol idiot being wiped away from his own mind and upped to California and being a part of the few that ultimately saves the world. And Nico as well, but he supposes that they don't mention that. "Were you trying to give me a talk?"

Percy scratches at his neck. The red on his face probably isn't only the fire, then.

"Spit it out."

"Yeah, yeah I was. Didn't work, did it?"

"Nope," Nico snorts, "not at all, actually."

The next time he even tries to meet Percy's gaze it's too late, because Percy is already wearing his late stage "fuck it" look. Nico sighs to himself, resigned, and waits for apocalypse, staring at the campers who have been wiped of their post-war shadows if only for a night.

"And you know it doesn't really matter what you do—uh, down there, that is—or who you do it with, you know, we're happy for you and all, man."

As if taking a well-directed cue, Will Solace laughs obnoxiously loudly at the other side of the campfire with the rest of his siblings, golden hair shining.

 _Obnoxious_ , Nico thinks, _annoying stupid doctor._

He thinks about Will's extremely blue eyes, and the freckles which made an appearance once after an intense day of clumsily manning the shooting range. _Happy for you and all, man._

"Did Annabeth put you up to this?"

Percy smiles a bit, too, suddenly proud, "Nope!"

There's a sinking feeling in his stomach. "...It's Grace, isn't it?"

"No no no, nothing like that. Just me, my intellect, you know."

"I don't know, actually." Except he doesn't really say that. "I will send Jules-Albert after you for a full pat-down," he goes instead.

"I—don't, uh, we're still happy for you?"

"Huh," he says in response, and hears as Percy starts laughing. Then after a second, he's laughing, too, unable to stop himself. "You're an idiot, Percy Jackson."

"Are you still sending your creepy French chauffeur after me?"

Between laughs, he chokes out, "Imagine: skeleton fingers up your ass."

Percy is tousling his hair now as he wheezes, "Is it—is it too early to make a joke?"

"Up your ass," Nico threatens, even miming his arms around for a full Son of Hades effect and letting some shadows swarm, thin and wispy around them.

The silence that Percy gives for two precious seconds is quickly disrupted when one of them decide to dance through the flames of the campfire to the other side where the Apollo cabin resides in their Haiku-loving glory.

Specifically, where Will Solaces resides in his Haiku-loving, music-butchering, bow-and-arrow-ruining glory.

With one hopefully menacing look back at Percy, Nico sprints across to the other side of the campfire, where the flame is dancing brighter, perhaps seeking out the Apollo kids in their sun element.

Then he tries with varying degrees of success to ignore: 1, Will's eyes, 2, the shadow dancing hula, and 3, his relief from talking and solving a part of the problem with Percy.

Because Percy Jackson is an idiot who tries awkwardly to teach Nico about tossing off, and not the kind of guy that he likes. Albeit good-looking, but still not the kind of guy that Nico likes. Especially because he's straight and loves his girlfriend and wants to have her babies so they could live in New Rome and banter forever.

And Nico doesn't have a problem with that.

As he said, varying degrees of success. His ignoring skills are not that great.

And Will's laughing at the shadow now, so Nico can't even find the energy to be mad at himself. Being mad is overrated. Being happy might be good.

"Hi," Nico di Angelo says to Will Solace over the laughter and crackling of a new fire.

He's not thinking about getting off.

* * *

Notes: Thought it'd be funny. Made it into the symbolism of brighter fires and moving on and being unafraid of things. Again, being #deep is not helping my dreams to become a world renowned comedian.


End file.
